Family is Always There?
by Whovian2525
Summary: Alex is in a bad place. She is in a reality TV show that she never signed up for, she's being bullied even by her older sister, she's convinced that she is the biggest loser in the world, and she suffers from an anxiety disorder. What will happen when she meets a new kid? Is he what she thinks he is? Or is it all a lie? Read to find out.
1. Chapter 1

**Family is Always There?**

**Hi! Okay, this is my first Modern Family fanfiction and I don't really expect a lot of readers, but I've been really wanting to write this. Okay, so this is an Alex story, because they never show much of her and her feelings. This is an angst story with self-abuse so this is not your typical Modern Family story. I'm not that good with comedy, so be warned. I hope whoever is reading this enjoys it! I'm literally writing eight other stories, so I'm sorry with updates. Enjoy! Oh, and I changed it a bit, I hope you don't mind. Okay, so, Alex and Haley go to the same school, Alex is a freshman, Haley is a senior. Luke is in seventh grade. So is Manny. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Modern Family**

I woke up from the lovely sound of Haley's obnoxious singing. I wonder what lovely song she's chosen today? Oh, that's right, another radio pop song that has no meaning. You can't just say the same words over and over again, it doesn't work. What has come to music these days? Music used to be words of expression, a work of art. Today? Sex, drugs, and oh ya, more sex. Pointless. I mean, there's some good music, but it's hard to find. I don't need to hear One Directions songs about being someone's boyfriend. It's pointless.

"Why are you still in bed? God, you're such a freak!" Haley screams at me. I flinch at her use of words. I know I should get used to it, since she's always done it, but that doesn't mean that I can't be hurt from it.

"Oh ya? At least I'm not a sl-"

"Alex! Downstairs, you don't want to be late for school," Mom interrupts. School. That word mocks me. I like the whole learning part but the social part? Ya, no. The camera people will be down there in any minute. Out of every family in the world, they just had to choose us. What joy. It's bad enough that my school thinks I'm a freak, now the whole world will find out. At least they don't twist our words around like some other reality tv show. They actually respect us.

I get out of bed and put on my usual appearance: a t-shirt, jeans, converse, and bracelets on my left wrist. I've only done it once, it hurt. I saw people do it on tv shows and I wanted to try it. It didn't soothe my pain at all. It only made me feel worse.

I walk downstairs and see the cameras. They interview us every time we have the chance. Mom and Dad argue about work or something and Haley is on the other side of the table, eating waffles. I pick up my fork and Haley looks at me, disgusted.

"You're eating waffles? You're already fat enough," she remarks. I look at Mom and Dad but they just keep on arguing and Luke laughs at her joke. I look down and think about what she said. I guess I kind of am. I push the plate of waffles away from me and I get up from the table and go outside. I get in the car and read my book, waiting for Mom to take us kids to school.

Mom, Luke, and Haley come out and we drive to school, one of the camera people coming in with us. They do this every single morning, just trying to get some juicy footage. They usually don't, but they could get something from Manny. Or Lily going to kindergarten. Cam always has something going on, he's so dramatic, which makes the camera people happy, I guess. I wish that they would have never chosen this family. I wish that I wasn't on this show. I've gotten hate, but I try not to think about it. Well, not that much. Haley always has good emails from the show. They love her. Everyone loves her. Nobody loves me. I'm just a geek. God, I'm doing it again. I'm thinking these thoughts, my therapist said that if I ever have these thoughts, I should breath in and out to calm myself from freaking out. From having an anxiety attack. I start to breath in and out and of course, Haley has to rip on me for it.

"What the hell are you doing? You sound like a freak," she remarks, yet again. I stop breathing in and out and I grip the seat, my nails digging in them, almost making the seat rip.

"Haley, you know that whenever Alex is, you know, about to have an anxiety attack, she breaths in and out," Mom shares to the camera people. Wow, thanks Mom! So caring.

"Well she did sound like a freak," Haley remarks one more time. I feel myself on the edge of freaking out but I do as best as I can to keep it in. Not today, I won't do it today.

"Haley! That's not nice to talk about your sister that way. It's not her fault that she has those, well, feelings. Just calm down, everyone" I roll my eyes at my mother's words. She pulls up and I get out, slamming the door. As I walk away, her horn beeps. I look back and she points at the lunch bag that I left, on purpose. I trudge back to her and take the bag.

"Silly me," I sarcastically say. I walk away from her and walk into hell. Oh wait, it's high school. It's worse than hell. I walk to my locker, only to find a ton of notes in it. I open every single one, not helping my anxiety problem. Loser, Geek, Stupid, Lesbian, Bitch, Freaky chic. Those words all fill the paper that comes spilling out my locker. Just a normal morning. Haley comes up and reads all of them. She laughs.

"Oh this is priceless! I told you this morning, you are a fat freak," Haley spits out. I take the notes from her and throw them in my backpack, like I usually do. I get my book and slam my locker, walking away from my evil sister. I run into my first class and my teacher greets me, annoyed. She just got divorced so she's been giving us pop quizzes and more homework every single day. I don't mind, I always get them right.

"Hi Ms. Henderson," I greet her. She rolls her eyes.

"Hello Alex. How are you this fine morning?" she asks me with sarcasm in her voice. I look down at my book and ignore her question. Soon enough, the bell rings and more students come shuffling in, getting out books or talking about their weekend.

"So Alex, I just saw last season of Modern Family. I didn't know that you were actually that geeky. You should just go hide in a corner because you kind of ruined the show for us," one kid remarks. I grip my pencil and start to read the assigned chapter.

At lunch, I grab my lunch from my locker and head to my usual seat in the very corner. I open my lunch bag and see a sandwich. Remembering what Haley said, I throw my lunch away, not wanting to risk it. I take out my book and start to read, only to be interrupted from a guy sitting down with me.

"Um, hi?" I ask him. He looks up. I don't think I've ever seen him before. He has black curly hair and green eyes. I love green eyes.

"Hi. I'm new and don't have many friends so I was wondering if I could sit with you? I mean, if that's okay?" he asks. I nod, maybe a bit too much, and set my book to the side.

"I'm Alex," I say.

"I'm Jacob," he smiles at me. I smile back, feeling glad that I haven't eaten anything all day. I don't look bloated, so that's good. We talk about things, like where he's from, how old he is (my age,fifteen years old), and just other things. Turns out, he's from Pittsburgh; he lives with his mom, dad, and sister, who is also our age; he loves cats, and he is extremely smart. We talked about music the rest of lunch.

I walk out into the breeze of the outside once I get out of the hell hole. Actually, today wasn't too bad. I met Jacob and I hope we can be friends. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I see Jacob smiling at me.

"Oh hi," I say, smiling back.

"Hey. So, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out?" he asks me. He wants to hang out with me again?

"Um, ya. Is your house okay?" I ask.

"Actually my house is no good. Is yours okay?" that question haunts me. Now I'll have to tell him all about the reality show, if he doesn't already know.

"Sure but, well, you might know this already but my family was chosen for this reality show and there's going to be cameras there and chances are, they'll make you do an interview. I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to," I look down at my feet.

"No, it'll be fun. I've seen a few episodes before. It's really funny. Does that stuff actually happen?"

"Believe it or not, yes. The producers don't tell us what to do. We don't act at all, it's like a documentary, really. It's okay, I guess," he nods.

"That's cool. I would hate to be in a reality show if they made me act like I wasn't myself or whatever. I should probably call my mom and tell her that I'm going to your house," he takes his phone out and I take my own out so I can text my mom and tell her that he's coming over.

*Texts*

Alex- hey can a friend come over?

Mom- Sure. Who's your little friend?

Alex- His name is Jacob

Mom- Your friend is a boy?

Alex- Mom, yes, I can have boy friends too

Mom- I'll be there in two minutes. Can't wait to meet him! Is he your boyfriend?

Alex- Mom! No, he's just a friend! God!

Mom- Get your sister and tell her

*End of texts*

I sigh and Jacob hangs up.

"What's wrong?" he asks me.

"Oh I have to find my sister, Haley," I take out my phone and go to her id.

"What do you want?" Haley asks me on the other line.

"Nice to talk to you too. Mom will be here any second. I'm in the front," she hangs up and I stand there with Jacob.

"I'm excited to meet your mom. She's really funny in the show," he slightly laughs.

"Ya, she's just a blast!" I sarcastically say. We laugh and Mom pulls up. Haley shows up and looks at Jacob.

"Um, why is he standing with you? Is this another charity event?" she asks, pointing to Jacob.

"Hi, I'm Jacob, Alex's friend," he takes out his hand. Haley raises her eyebrow and Jacob gives her a stare. What's going on? Haley then takes out her hand and shakes his. She then winks at him and gets in the car. I decide that I wouldn't get into it, I didn't want to risk having a friend. We then go in my mom's car.

"Hi I'm Jacob," he introduces to my mom. She smiles. The camera people just have to be here.

"Hello. So you're Alex's friend?" she asks the obvious.

"Ya we met today. I'm new," he smiles.

"Oh that's nice," they make small talk the rest of the way home. No mean words to me from Haley so that's nice.

We get to the house and Jacob opens the door for me. I can't help blush. We walk to the front door, knowing that the cameras got that.

"Okay, I lied. I didn't just watch a few episodes, I've seen every single episode. I'm a big fan, actually. You're my favorite," he winks at me. I smile once more. We walk into the kitchen and I sit down on the chair.

"So what do you want to do?" I ask him.

"Um I don't know. Talk? I like talking to you," he looks down and laughs. I have a feeling that the cameras will be pointed to us most of the day.

"I like talking to you too. I don't really talk that much," I admit.

"In the show you talk a lot. Mostly getting back at Haley, but you talk," I shake my head.

"I'm a minor character. All the kids are, really. I don't mind it. This whole adventure is just so, so weird. I'm on a reality show that I didn't even sign up for. I was just placed as a character. I never wanted to do this in the first place. I'm not usually this weird, sorry. I didn't want to spill out all my feelings. I apologize," I laugh, after all that. I can't believe that I just told him all that. I'm such an idiot. He'll probably think of me as a huge geek.

"No, I don't mind. I like to see the real you. It's nice. You're nice," he smiles. He pulls a loose strand of hair behind my ear and leans in to kiss me. Or I think. Wait, is he going to kiss me? Is he? Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh my god! He's going to kiss me! Right as he is about to, we get interrupted.

"Alex! Did you take my hairbrush? Oh," Haley says once she realizes what we were about to do. The butterflies that were once in my stomach are now, replaced with anger and hatred for my sister.

"I should probably go. It was nice meeting you Haley. Say goodbye to your mom for me, Alex," he says, getting up. Why? Ugh! Right as he is about to leave, my mom comes in the kitchen.

"Oh, are you leaving already? That's a shame. It was nice meeting you Jacob. You're welcome here anytime. Do you need a ride?" my mom asks.

"That's nice to know. And no, I'll walk," he smiles. I lead him to the door and we walk outside.

"You don't have to go, you know," I try to persuade him.

"I know, but I promised my mom I would be back in time for dinner. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he smiles. I nod and start my way to open the door but he stops me. He pulls me towards him and he kisses me. He pulls away and starts to walk away. I touch my lip, hoping that the feeling of him kissing me will never go away.

**Hi! I hoped you enjoyed it, sorry if it sucked!**

**-That hopeless Whovian, Ruth… Whovian2525**


	2. New Makeover

**Family Is Always There? Chapter Two**

**Hello! Last chapter, Alex met a boy named Jacob and he kissed her. But she knows something else is going on with him. Is he who he says he is? Read to find out. Oh, and I don't own Modern Family. I wish I did though... actually, I'm not funny so never mind. **

I walk back into my house, touching my lip from the moments that just happened. I can't believe he kissed me. I still can't believe that someone, especially as cute as him, would kiss someone like me. My mom comes up to me and smiles.

"So what were you two doing out there?" she asks, acting coy. I roll my eyes, heading upstairs, knowing that the cameras caught all that. Wait, did he only kiss me because of the cameras? This is too much to think about. Even for me. I really hope he would kiss me because he likes me. But then again, it would all make sense if he did pretend to like me just for the publicity. I mean, who would like me? I'm a geek, a loser. Just the nerdy sister on Modern Family.

Hayley goes into our room, babbling on about some guy she has a crush on. Isn't she dating Dylan? Whatever. I go over to the closet and look for something to wear for tomorrow. I don't know what Jacob and I are, but I still want to look presentable.

"You know, there's nothing attractive in there anyway so I don't know why you're looking," she snarks, giving me that stupid Haley look that says, 'You're a loser and I'm great.' I hate that look. I think I hate it so much because I know it's true.

Hayley hangs up and goes over to the closet and pushes me away. She looks around and pulls out a pink sweater with a flamingo on it, black skinny jeans, brown booties with white lace, a satchel that reminds me of an adventure pack, and a red ring. She hands it to me.

"Wear this tomorrow and put your hair in a ponytail with a braid on the sides. Tonight, curl your hair and tomorrow it will be nice and wavy. Wear this and he will surely like you. But wear your contacts. I'll help you with your makeup tomorrow morning. Kay?" she asks when she's done.

"Wow, thank you. Can you curl my hair?" I ask, being careful. I don't want to push her away.

"How else is your hair going to be curly? Come on, let's go to the bathroom," she takes my hand and leads me towards the bathroom. She takes my hair out of the bun and scrunches her face up. "You really need to start taking care of your hair," she shakes her head and takes the curler and puts my straight hair in it.

About twenty minutes later, Haley pulls me towards the mirror. I can't believe what I see in the mirror. I didn't know I could look so pretty.

"Just wait for tomorrow," she smiles.

"Thanks, Haley," I am still shocked.

"No problem. I like doing your hair. It's like I finally get a little sister. You know, the one who isn't smarter than me?" she teases. I laugh and she cleans up.

"I'm smarter academically. You're smarter with makeup and guys liking you," I bite my lip, thinking of Jacob.

"It's harder than you think. It takes a lot of practice with makeup. You'll learn," she smiles, walking out of the bathroom. I follow her but there she is again, on her phone talking to Kelsey, as if what we did never happened. I sigh silently and take out a book to read. I notice a disgusted look from Haley. I put the book back and she nods.

I walk downstairs and see Dad with Luke. They're watching a documentary about sharks. I watch the television screen as the baby shark gets killed by the net on one of those boats that kill sharks to get fin soup. I hate that they do that. Sharks are living creatures, they should not be killed for food. And the sad thing is, it's not illegal in international waters. I hate it so much. I walk away, trying not to get angry at something I can't fix. Luke laughs as the shark killers cut off the fin. I bite my lip from yelling at him.

Mom comes in, interrupting my thoughts. She looks at my hair and then looks at Dad and Luke, then back at me.

"Your hair, it's curly," she states the obvious. I nod.

"Yes Mom, it is. The grass is green and the sky is blue. Your hair is blond and mine is curly," I remark. She rolls her eyes.

"I just mean, I've never seen your hair curly before. Did you do it?" I shake my head.

"No, Hayley did it," her eyes go huge.

"And she didn't threaten you or anything?" I shake my head, getting annoyed. She blinks in disbelief and walks away. I open the fridge and Haley comes in, texting. I take out the last piece of chocolate cake.

"Guys don't like girls who are fat," she remarks. I stare at my stomach and then the cake. It's my favorite kind, though. I sigh as I place the cake in the fridge. "Good girl," Haley remarks. I roll my eyes and we say goodbye to the producers and the camera men as they leave. I walk upstairs, my stomach grumbling from not eating anything since breakfast.

I wake up with the sound of screeching. Haley is singing her usual morning song. I look at my hair and it's still curly. I smile and she leads me towards the vanity. She puts black eyeliner on the bottom, making the eyes pop, then she puts pink sparkly eyeshadow on my eyes with a thin line of black eyeliner on the top. She then puts mascara on me and then she hands me a tube of lip gloss. I hold it as she leads me to the bathroom. She takes two strands of hair and braids it, then putting it in a loose ponytail, leaving a strand of hair on the side. She gives me my clothes. When I look in the mirror, with me all 'dolled up' I feel amazing. I actually feel beautiful. She smiles at me and then does her own makeup. She still looks prettier than me, but at least I got an upgrade. [Outfit on my profile]

I walk downstairs and sit on the island. Mom looks away from the stove and shrieks. I look around to see if there is a murder anywhere, but no.

"Alex! You look beautiful," Mom cries. Okay so I don't usually look beautiful? Wow, thanks Mom. So kind.

"Thanks. Haley's job," I admit. She hands me a plate of eggs, bacon, and waffles. Remembering what Haley said last night, I push the plate away. "Um, I'm not hungry. I ate a big dinner last night," I lie.

"I didn't see you eat anything,"

"I had the last slice of cake," Haley comes in, texting.

"You ate it? I thought I told you guys don't like fat girls," Mom waves her off and places the breakfast in the fridge, when she pulls out the cake. She raises an eyebrow.

"Alex? What is going on? Have you eaten anything at all yesterday?" I nod, trying not to blow my cover.

"Of course, I just ate when you weren't around. And as for the cake, well, I guess I was mistaken. I thought I did but then Haley came in and I guess I forgot that I placed it in the fridge," I say a bit slowly. She looks at me, trying to see if she can see if I'm lying. Thank goodness I can lie pretty well. She nods and rushes me to the car, my stomach grumbling. We drive to school in silence, which will annoy the camera crew. We reach school and I see Jacob sitting down, reading a book. I walk up to him and grab the book from him, sitting down and reading it. He looks at me and I remember that I'm all 'dolled up.'

"What's up with the clown makeup?" his remark makes my smile fade. I touch my makeup, feeling insecure. Maybe I look stupid.

"Oh, I just experimented," I say, almost in a whisper, looking away from him so he won't see my eyes. I know I'm tearing up.

"Well, in my opinion, I like how you looked before… this," he stands up, reaching his hand down for mine. Instead of taking it, I place the book in his hand, get up myself, and walk away. I hear him call my name but I ignore it.

I walk in the bathroom and take a paper towel and take it all off, the makeup smearing down my cheeks, the eyeliner running down the bottom of my eye. I wash my face, trying to get all of the makeup off. I look in the mirror and see my raw face, my ugly, raw face. I trace my flaws with my finger on the mirror. My nose, my eyes, my cheeks, my forehead, my chin… everything. I see a tear fall down and I know I deserve to feel this way. I look down at my stomach and see all the fat. I don't really weigh myself but I don't need any machine to tell me that I'm fat. I already know that. I go in the stall and take out the weapon: the two fingers. I have to do this, I have to. I make the quick motion and all my contents that I ate in the last two days are no longer in my stomach. I get cleaned up and put a stick of gum in my mouth. I then look at the rest of my body. The things I can't change. I take out the lipstick that Haley packed me and put it up to the mirror. I draw a circle and a dash on my face. I hear someone come in the bathroom and I see that it's Haley.

"Alex? What are you doing?" she goes over to the mirror, seeing the lipstick stain. She looks at my face and sighs. "Why did you take off the makeup? I thought we had fun," she pouts at me and then pushes me to the side, taking the wet paper towel and cleaning off the mirror.

"Seriously, Alex, aren't you supposed to be going to class? I thought you never ditched," I remain quiet, looking at my shoes. "Alex?" Haley's voice goes softer. She's looking at my face, trying to search for some emotion. I walk past her and walk out the door, going to my normal lunch spot when I don't feel like being bothered. I walk to the janitor's closet and sit down on the pail. I don't cry, I never do. I just sit down and think. Why did I have to be the ugly one? Haley is so beautiful, it isn't fair. And she's smart, just lazy. She has the brains and the beauty, and me? Nothing. Sure, I know facts, but I'm not wise, I'm not clever. I'm just… normal.

I find what I'm looking for, the pocket knife that the janitor keeps in his locker. I've only done it once but I'm ready to do it again. I slide the little knife across my wrist, blood gushing out. Crimson coloured blood drips on the floor, it leaving little designs. I cut again, the cuts crisscrossing in every direction. I am thankful that I wore a sweater. I cut higher on my shoulder, it stinging even more. I drop the knife when I start to get dizzy. I roll down the sleeve and hold onto the coat rack to stop from falling. Then, I see nothing but black. I know I'm still conscious but I can't see a thing. I drop to the floor and blackout completely.

**Hi! Sorry it took so long for me to update, crazy fires and a lot of homework!**

**-That hopeless Whovian, Ruth… Whovian2525**


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